so, my Dad has cancer

yep.

No other way to lead into that. He has cancer in his lungs and liver and is undergoing chemo treatments. I don't feel much at the moment.

I guess I always felt this would happen and I was not at all surprised when the call came to inform me. It seems like everyone keeps asking me if I am okay, and the truth is - yes, I am. When I tell them that, they kinda look at me like, I don't know what. Like I am just not dealing with it yet, and maybe that is the case. Maybe it's just that I figure his insistence on going back to smoking and that being so damn important to him, he finally got what he deserved. Seems a little vengeful and maybe it is.

My Mom talked to me about my brother going to visit and seeing how bad he looks and the 'accidents' he is having. My parents have been divorced for years, so it's just my Mother relaying what my brother has told her, she isn't there or involved really. She told me my brother broke down and cried after he left my Dad's house. I was angry.I did that every day after leaving the ICU at Henry Ford hospital, driving up there and back 3 times a week. He was busy or had to work or didn't have gas money - well guess what, all those things applied to me too.

I guess I am at a loss of sympathy right now, maybe it will come back to me. I don't have any unresolved issues that I need to take care of before he dies. If my brother does I feel bad for him, he;s had all of these years during and since the coma to deal with it and if he hasn't...that's his fucking problem. Not mine.

When the time comes, I'll be involved and I'll do my part. They can deal with this for a little while in the meantime.